When you’re in a committed relationship, planning your pregnancy announcement can be exciting and fun. However, if you weren’t planning to become pregnant, this moment can turn into a nerve-wracking experience. We understand that it can be scary to find out you’re pregnant unexpectedly – and even scarier to discuss it with your partner. Here is some advice to help you through this situation.
Step 1: Determine If You’re Really Pregnant
Before you start planning all the different ways to break the news of your pregnancy, you should make sure you’re really pregnant. At Embrace, we offer some free services that can help you know for sure if you’re expecting.
First, you can come to Embrace for a free, confidential, and highly accurate pregnancy test. It may come as a surprise, but many women take pregnancy tests incorrectly and get inaccurate results.
If you do get a positive pregnancy test result at Embrace, you may also qualify for a free limited obstetrical sonogram to confirm your pregnancy is viable. This procedure is simple and safe, and it allows you to learn essential information about your pregnancy such as your estimated due date and how far along you are.
Step 2: Consider Your Own Feelings
If your pregnancy test and ultrasound come back positive, it can be tempting to rush to your boyfriend for support. However, we recommend you consider your own feelings first before you tell anyone else.
One of the best ways to come to terms with your own thoughts is to write them down. When you write something down, your mind has to slow down and think about each word. Your thoughts don’t get a chance to “run away,” and it’s easier to keep track of all the feelings in your head and heart. This is a good way to consider and process all your feelings and ideas.
Step 3: Understand Your Options
Finally, it’s important that you understand all of your options early on in the process. Many women have misconceptions about the different pregnancy options available. That’s why it’s important to get the truth about every option before you make any decisions you can’t take back.
At Embrace, we offer free information and education about all your pregnancy options. There is no appointment needed to sit down with one of our volunteers and talk through all of your pregnancy options in a safe, comfortable, and confidential setting.
Step 4: Tell Your Partner
Once you have the information you need and you’ve taken time to sort out how you feel, you need to tell your partner. We recommend giving the news in a comfortable and familiar setting, such as at home or in another private space. Don’t bring it up when you’re out in public, like at a restaurant or cafe. This can make the situation more uncomfortable for both of you.
When you tell your boyfriend, make sure you’re open and honest about your own feelings and plans. Don’t try to hide your own thoughts or emotions. However, you should also expect your boyfriend to need some time to process the news as well. He might be confused, angry, scared, or even excited. Give him time to work through his own thoughts and feelings before you ask how he wants to proceed.
It’s also important at this stage to be a good listener and to allow him to be open with you. In many cases, the boyfriend feels differently about pregnancy than the girlfriend does. This is natural, and you will need to work through these differences together.
Additional Pregnancy Help
Of course, telling your boyfriend that you’re pregnant is only the first step of your journey. You will need to make many more decisions in the coming weeks and months. If you need help with these choices or you’re not sure where to turn, Embrace is here for you. We offer free help, education, and support for all women and couples facing a pregnancy decision. We even offer special services for men to help your boyfriend decide on his own role in your pregnancy.