It’s not uncommon to feel anxious when you find out you’re unexpectedly pregnant. You may be questioning whether you can finish school, if the father will be involved, or how you will tell your parents. These were all things that I wondered when I first found out I was pregnant in college, 29 years ago. Do you think you could be pregnant? Are you feeling alone and afraid? This is my message for you my friend. Take it from someone who’s been there.
Once you see those two positive lines on the pregnancy test, suddenly every waking thought revolves around some form of ‘what am I going to do?!’. It can feel as if life as you know it is gone forever and you would do anything to just ‘return to normal’ with a quick solution. Before you make an impulsive decision, my advice would be to slow down – push the pause button.
This decision affects more than just you. You are now making a choice for two. Abortion may seem like a simple fix but it will never erase the memory of your baby and what could have been. Don’t try to predict the future and make a decision that one day you may regret. You’re not alone. All those years ago I felt very alone. But Embrace helped me see that there have been many other young girls in the same position that I was who became successful parents.
I was 19 when I first found out I was pregnant. I was going to school at Wichita State at the time and didn’t want anyone to find out, so I went to Embrace. My relationship with the father was far from healthy and I didn’t know what I was going to do. At Embrace, I was greeted by a kind woman who asked about my story. Through tears, I voiced all the questions and fears that had been running through my mind. She heard me. She told me that I wasn’t alone, that there were people here to help and that I could be a mom even if I didn’t know what to do every second of the day. That day, she met me right was I was and she gave me hope.
“Being a mom has absolutely been the greatest joy of my life! Looking back, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.”
Find someone in a safe place that you can talk to. Keeping silent can leave you feeling isolated and overwhelmed. Consider sharing with a trusted friend or family member how you’re feeling. Embrace is always open as well for a safe and confidential place to talk through your options. It’s okay to feel less than thrilled at first. It’s okay to be scared. Many women have walked this path before you and you too will get through this! You may be surprised what you’re capable of when given the challenge.
Know Your Options
You won’t be pregnant forever. Nine months from now you could be the mother of a beautiful baby boy or girl, you could bless a family with your son or daughter through adoption, or you may choose to abort your baby before meeting them. Each has its own elements of loss but none of them will ever permanently erase the memory of your baby. Don’t discredit an option because it seems too hard.
When I finally held my son for the first time, I knew we were going to be okay. It wasn’t always easy. We had good days and not-so-good days, just like everyone else. But being a mom has absolutely been the greatest joy of my life! Looking back, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. He’ll be 29 soon! We have a great relationship and I love being his mom.
Embrace has been helping women in Wichita with unexpected pregnancies for over 30 years and they’ve got your back. Every day, they see courageous women like yourself make empowering decisions for their future and you can do that too! Whether you’re leaning toward parenting, adoption, or abortion, their free and confidential services are always available to you. Text your questions to (316)-530-1009 or call in at (316) 945-9400. You can do this.