I have four children who are 30, 28, 20, and 19 and many years have gone by since they were little. However, I can still remember the moment I found out I was pregnant with each of them. But the pregnancy notice that was most difficult for me to process was my fourth and final one.
You see, I was still nursing my third child when I found out. These last two would be 13 months apart. I was still getting up multiple times at night with her, my energy was depleted, and I was already struggling to do my best mothering for the three I had. We were living in my sister’s basement waiting to move into our home and I was gearing up to return to my classroom teaching job. Needless to say, life was brimming over and so was my stress.
Am I Supposed To Feel This Way?
It was not a good time to realize that I would be moving right back into having another baby to tend to without so much as a small break. I remember being alone and crying at the realization. I was “supposed” to be happy about this, wasn’t I? I felt guilty that I was elated about the others and not about this one.
My emotions were all over the place at the beginning of that pregnancy. I was angry about the timing, I felt stupid that I let it happen, I was anxious about having babies so close together, and was scared about my health. I was confused by these mixed-up emotions and my postpartum hormones weren’t helping one bit.
Finding My Village
What I needed, and found, were people who spoke hope over me and my situation. I had a partner who listened to me, while helplessly patting me on the back, as I processed it all. I had my sister who understood because she was in a very similar situation: littles with another one on the way, a mere month before me.
My family and friends cared for me without an agenda. They let me take the time to process this new situation with a clear head and encouraged me not to make any rash decisions based on emotions. They gave me their time and attention, all the while knowing in their heart that I would come to love this baby as much as I loved the others. They held the hope for me when I was unable to at that time.
And you know what? It worked! Their loving time and attention helped me realize that this baby was worth the extra it would take. And boy has he been extra! He is all country, the joker of the family, and loyalty is his noteworthy trait. He is the last to leave the nest and I can’t imagine these 19 years without him.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by an unexpected pregnancy, Embrace is here for you. You can do this. Yes, even with young kids at home and even in the midst of a pandemic. As you weigh your options, remember that your circumstances are temporary.
Feelings will change as you and your family grow beyond the exhaustion of raising toddlers. Be confident in your pregnancy decision by learning about all your options at Embrace. Walk-ins are welcome and all services are free and confidential.