Whether you’ve been dating this girl for years or you just met, chances are a baby is not what you signed up for. Finding out your girlfriend is unexpectedly pregnant can surface lots of insecurities about your ability to be a dad or even question the longevity of your relationship. So where do you go from here?
Verify That She’s Really Pregnant
There’s no sense in stressing over something that’s not 100%. Pregnancy scares are a real thing and there can be many factors that delay a woman’s period or even in rare cases cause a false positive reading. If she hasn’t taken a pregnancy test yet, save yourself from a potentially awkward encounter at the drugstore and bring her to Embrace! Our tests are laboratory quality and all our services are free and confidential. For additional confirmation, you can also request to schedule a complimentary sonogram.
Talk About Your Options Together
If you find out your partner truly is pregnant, there are only 3 options to consider. You can choose to parent by raising the child, parent through the choice of adoption or abortion. Depending on your beliefs and where you stand in your relationship, this can be a difficult conversation to have. At some point, you may find it helpful to talk with an impartial third party. Embrace offers volunteer counselors that can walk you through the pros and cons of your options in your current situation. All of this is offered at no cost.
Offer Your Support
Unfortunately, this is about the time when many men check out. But she needs your support now more than ever! And more than that, as the man, you have the primary responsibility as the leader in this relationship. Try to hold off on pointing blame or pressuring her into a decision and just listen. Ask how she’s feeling and offer your support by going to doctor’s appointments and attending parenting class together. Believe that this can be a positive change for both of you.
Believe You Have What It Takes
You have what it takes to be a dad. Has anyone ever told you that before? Although the timing may be different than you had planned, you are fully capable of raising a child. How can I say this confidently? Because no matter how ‘prepared’ you are for a pregnancy, you will learn the same way everyone else did: one day at a time. Your involvement as a father is important for the development of your child and can even result in proper weight gain for your baby, high academic achievements in school, increased confidence and social skills.
Your partner will need your support in her pregnancy decision and beyond. At Embrace, we can offer you accurate information on your options and provide you with the resources you need going forward. All our services are free and confidential. Contact us today at 316.945.9400 to learn more.