When faced with an unplanned pregnancy, the natural first step is to consider your pregnancy options (parenting, adoption, and abortion) and which one is right for you and your child. Of these three, the two that are the most talked about in today’s society are abortion and parenting. Information about adoption and the adoption process tends to be less visible to the public.
However, parenting through adoption is also a viable option when making an informed choice about your pregnancy. In today’s blog, we look at the different types of adoption and how it is one of the most loving and brave choices an expectant parent can make for their unborn child. If you are considering adoption or want to discuss your pregnancy options in a safe place, contact Embrace today by calling 316-945-9400 or texting 316-530-1009 to schedule a free appointment.
Who is Adoption For?
You may want to consider adoption if:
- You feel you’re not at a place in your life where you’re ready or capable of raising a child.
- Your home life is complicated and you want your child to grow up in a home that can provide emotional and financial stability.
- The father of your child is no longer in your life and you want your child to be raised by a two-parent family (yes, you can totally thrive as a single mom, but if you desire for your child to have two parents, this is a valid reason).
There’s a stigma in society that often makes women feel ashamed to consider adoption. They’re told it means they’re not capable of raising a child themselves and they’re passing it off to someone else. However, adoption isn’t ‘giving up’ your baby, but choosing to place them in a loving home with adoptive parents who wish to partner with the biological mother in raising the child.
Each woman’s situation is different and no one but you can make the decision of how you choose to proceed with your pregnancy. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to choose adoption for your child. It means proceeding with a pregnancy you weren’t prepared for and allowing another family to raise your child. This is a gift only you can give. And choosing to make an adoption plan doesn’t mean you won’t be able to have contact with your child, as is commonly believed.
What are the Different Types of Adoption?
There are three main types of adoption: open, semi-open, and closed. Each refers to the level of contact you want to have with the adoptive parents during and after the adoption process. You have a greater amount of input in the matter than you may think; it’s not putting your baby in the ‘system’, but placing them in a loving family of your choice.
This option provides you with the most communication and involvement with the adoptive parents, both throughout the adoption process and after the adoption is finalized. You can meet with them and discuss the life you want your child to have and if they are a good fit for your wishes. In addition, you are able to describe to your adoption advocate what contact with your child will look like and what level of involvement you’d like to have in your child’s life.
Your advocate will then bring you profiles of families who match your wishes and you will pick the family. Many birth mothers are able to develop a healthy and loving bond with their child and be present in their life as they grow up in an environment you know they’ll thrive in. This option also gives birth mothers a sense of peace, as they are able to see first-hand how their child is doing and don’t have to wonder what kind of life they are leading.
A semi-open adoption allows your input in the adoption process and some communication with the adoptive parents. You’ll be able to view profiles of potential adoptive families and have some say in the final decision your adoption representative makes. During the adoption process, you may have some direct contact with the adoptive family, but once the process is finalized, all contact is typically handed over to the adoption agency. However, a benefit of semi-open adoption is the chance to get updates on your child, as you can request pictures and/or letters or emails from the adoptive family. This request is given to your adoption agency, who will act as the middleman between both parties and pass along any pictures and letters the adoptive family sends to you.
In a closed adoption, you typically won’t have any contact with the adoptive parents and vice versa. Instead, you’ll each have an adoption representative that handles the communication between both parties. Your advocate will meet with you and you’ll be able to discuss any questions or concerns you may have. You will then choose an adoptive family that you believe is the best match for you and your child but will not exchange information or have contact.
Making a Loving Choice
Trust your intuition as a mom. Don’t let others pressure you into a decision. You know what’s best for your child’s future. Don’t be afraid to ask for help or resources along the way. There are many avenues of support available to you; you simply have to ask. At Embrace, we partner with Circle of Love Adoption Support, a local non-profit that provides expectant mothers with the support and resources they need when they’re considering adoption. Call Embrace today at 316-945-9400 to get connected with pregnancy resources and support. All of our services are free and confidential.