She’s Considering Abortion. What Do I Say?

By September 11, 2019Abortion, Adoption, Pregnancy

Talking to someone you love about their unexpected pregnancy is hard enough. But when she tells you she’s considering abortion, it can seem like there’s nothing you can say. However, there are many ways to talk to her in a loving way while being respectful of her opinions and beliefs. We discuss some different approaches you can take for starting the conversation so you can support her every step of the way. For more resources or information, contact Embrace today by calling 316-945-9400 or texting 316-530-1009.

Accompany Her to a Sonogram

One of the first things you can offer to do is go with her to her sonogram appointment. No matter what pregnancy option a woman is considering, a sonogram is often the next step. It tells her important information about her pregnancy, such as how far along she is and if the pregnancy is viable. Many abortion clinics require a sonogram before discussing abortion options, since the baby’s gestational age determines what abortion procedures are available. Embrace offers limited obstetrical sonograms at no cost to women who are looking to confirm their pregnancy. Call us at 316-945-9400 to learn more.

Listen Without Judgement

A great way to show your support for your loved one is to always approach conversations with the intention to listen first. Try to understand her point of view and where she’s coming from.  Ask about her fears and why she might feel like abortion is her only option. Women facing unplanned pregnancies are often dealing with complex, conflicting emotions and one of the most loving things you can do is create a safe place where she can process without fear of judgment.  

Talk About Her Options

Once you understand how she’s feeling, you can help by sharing facts and information about all of her pregnancy options. Just as with any big medical decision, make sure she knows and researches all that abortion procedures entail, including the risks and alternatives. If you don’t feel comfortable or qualified to have this conversation on your own, Embrace offers private and confidential abortion education at no cost. We also provide information on parenting and adoption to further assist women in making an informed choice. You can always offer to go with her to Embrace for support. 

Other than abortion, there are two more options every pregnant woman has: parenting and adoption, both of which are surrounded by common misconceptions. For example, many women believe that not feeling ready or not having a certain income level disqualifies them from being a good mom. Not so! There are a wide range of resources and support available in your community to help women achieve their goals. Yes, your schedule will change with the demands of parenting but there is nothing that compares to the joy of raising a child! And it doesn’t have to come at the expense of your career.

“6 in 10 Americans are touched by adoption in some way.”

Many people also often misunderstand adoption. They think adoption is “giving your child up,” putting your child in the system, or not having any further communication with your son or daughter. In fact, the opposite is true. Adoption takes a great deal of courage and is an incredibly loving and sacrificial choice. As the birth mother, you are able to hand-pick a family to raise your child and place him/her with loving parents. This gives the gift of life to your child as well as the adoptive parents. There are three types of adoption: closed, semi-open, and open. Each allows a different level of contact with the birth mother after the process is completed. For more questions around adoption, give us a call at 316-945-9400.

Provide Ongoing Support

Above all, the best thing you can offer to your loved one is your ongoing support beyond her pregnancy decision. You have the ability to offer hope that not only can she be a mother, but a loving and successful one at that. Tell her you will be alongside her every step of the way and that she is not alone in this process. If you’re unable to be there, help her find people who can build a community of support around her. In the end, that’s the most loving thing you can do: showing her that your love and support extends beyond just you and that there are many other people willing to walk this journey with her.

If you’re not sure where to start or how to find the resources to do this, contact Embrace! We are dedicated to providing women with not only the information to make an informed decision but the community support and resources to get the care they deserve. Call us at 316-945-9400, send us a message online, or walk into our center at any time to learn more about how we can help.